Yesterday I visited my 84-year-old dad and we celebrated Fathers Day. I brought my oldest grandson as well as lunch and a festive balloon tied to a bag of gourmet cheese popcorn. I would like to report it was a nice visit but, unfortunately, it left me feeling sad.
Since mom passed over two years ago, to me dad's aging much more quickly. Now that he has my full attention, I'm seeing a man who looks extremely old and moves painstakingly slow. But most disturbing is how dad keeps recalling the same stories, all of which are about how someone was out to cheat him or how unfair the world is.
Sadly my parents have always been more pessimistic than optimistic. Something I didn't realize until I became more secure in my own adulthood. But it's been acutely obvious to my hubby and sister-in-law for almost as long as they've known mom and dad. It's as if my siblings and I were too brainwashed to notice.
And now I find it sad that over 84 years dad's big stories are about how bad people and life are. And it makes me wonder if I'll be the same way when I'm in my 80s.
Using logic, as I'm prone to do, however, I'm thinking since I'm not as negative as my parents were in their 60s I won't be in my 80s either. I strongly pray that will be true because I surely don't want the sad stories to be the last things I share with my children and grandchildren.
Life can be cruel, but it's also full of beauty and happiness.
1 comment:
I've wondered about that, too!! My Dad always had that side of him--how someone was always out to cheat you or take advantage of you. My Mom, despite her Pollyanna ways, always agreed with him--LOL! They say you get to be more your true self as you age. But I have also seen Altzheimers/dementia change people, too, to make them get quite nasty and argumentative and aggressive when they hadn't been their whole lives--like my Dad's mother! Getting old looks scarier the closer we get to major shifts physically and possibly mentally. I keep praying mine will be physical and not mental/intellectual. You wonder. But whatever is going to happen will happen.
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