Aging Fast

There's no school today, so I was hoping to sleep in this morning.  Actually, I did get up a half hour later, but it didn't make up for all the tossing and turning I did through the night. Most of it was due to the email I read just before going to bed.

Mom moved to the fourth floor yesterday.  My brother visited her around 6:15 P.M. to see how she was coping. As us kids suspected, she was unfazed.  The Alzheimer's has progressed to the point that mom has little fight left, which also means she rarely exhibits fear any more.  Nevertheless, in his email update, Kevin said he spoke with dad who didn't sleep Wednesday night worried about how mom would take the move.

I just don't understand why dad doesn't get how far gone mom is now.  His refusal to face reality is making it harder for him to let go.  As mom's disease progresses, I'm not worried about her because she truly has no idea what's going on.  But I am worried about dad, which is causing me to lose sleep also.

I've read numerous articles about how stress and lack of sleep can age us faster than anything else.  I do believe that's true.  My last job outside the home and family business was extremely stressful.  Toward the end, I used to wake up feeling as if a brick was laying on my chest.  That was over 10 years ago, but I think I still look younger now having gotten rid of that stress.  At least I feel younger.

But, with all that's going on with mom and dad now, I'm afraid I'm aging fast again.  I'm losing sleep and, during the day, the situation is always on my mind.  At this rate, by the time mom passes, I'll look as if I'm turning 70 this year instead of 60!