My name is Dianne and I'm part of a dysfunctional family.
Although I think all families have some degree of dysfunction, I now believe mine is extreme. Over the last 3-5 years in particular, it's become obvious to me that there's a lot of pent up anger and animosity. And as cliche as it sounds, I blame my mother.
Growing up I remember dad telling us often not to "upset mom." She could throw hateful barbs without hesitation, but we were never allowed to defend ourselves. And, whenever I asked dad for help, I would get, "I'm not getting in the middle," even when he clearly knew mom was wrong.
As a result, each of us kids learned to swallow feelings. Of course, sometimes they rise to the boiling point and there's an ugly spilling over. But nothing's ever completely resolved.
Is it just a coincidence that I've come to this revelation on a holiday, another cliche? Probably, since the latest altercation has nothing to do with Thanksgiving. I'm just hoping a step to healing is recognition.